Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
