Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
