theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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