Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
