I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
