Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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