left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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