marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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