I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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