Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Drunk is not a location!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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