Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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