After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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