the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
