Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize