Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
