she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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