I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im holly from the hills drunk
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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