So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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