I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
