I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We have started to decorate penises.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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