remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
