Do you still have your period?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
