So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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