Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're like the curious george of whores
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize