You made me cry and you don't even care
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
