If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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