grandma shit on top of the toilet
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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