I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
