If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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