Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
