Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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