sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
