I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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