like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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