those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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