Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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