i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
