I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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