he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
