Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
