Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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