I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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