You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
