we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
