dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
