Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want to make out with him forever
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize