you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize