Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
