u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
