Can Purell be used as lube?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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