I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
