I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
