***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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