He disabled his match.com account in front of me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
