You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
