YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
