Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
