Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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