Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
