your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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